My baby is 12 weeks old and I’m crying. I never knew it was possible to love something so much. I mean I love a lot of things with all my heart (yes Ruthie girl, I love you) but there’s something different about baby love.
12 weeks ago I had no idea what to expect. I had no idea what my child would be like, look like…would he like me? If you’re wondering, I don’t even care if he likes me hehe I just love him so much. PS I think he likes me.
He’s at the point now where he smiles at you, he likes to play, he can hold a ball (I’m wondering if he’s a lefty…he does a lot with his left hand), he giggles and coos and stares at Christmas lights. He’s eating like a good boy and I swear he grows an inch a day. He no longer fits in 3 month clothes (I think this is common for babes though) and is super close to rolling over. Oh, I swear he’s already said mama a couple times too.
Having a baby has changed me a lot as well. I’ve become much more patient. I feel like I laugh a shit ton more. I’ve become calmer. I’ve also learned that perfection doesn’t matter with a baby.
Some days I have every intention of teaching Harry to read, to give him endless amounts of tummy time, to do all the laundry, clean all the rooms, pick up all the shit that has somehow accumulated in our house, eat a salad, skip dessert (LOL yeah right)…the list goes on.
Most days I make a check list of things to accomplish and most days I accomplish about 80% of my list. But like I said, perfection doesn’t matter with a baby. I don’t even care if I don’t get to vacuuming. I do feel like a half failure if I don’t play with Harry all day but I’m slowly getting over that. I’m not mad when I have to skip a workout because the baby decides we’re gonna hold hands all day. I’ve even gotten OK with watching a Hallmark movie during the day (before baby I would NEVER watch a movie during the daytime…don’t ask me why).
Harry has changed me for the best. He’s shown me a whole new level of love, patience, caring, responsibility, and he’s shown me how to enjoy every moment. I feel so lucky to be a mom to such a sweet little boy. He’s also shown me just how great a dad Sam is and that’s just the cherry on top.
Now, it’s my last week of maternity leave and I’m not gonna lie, I’m super sad. I know I’m lucky to have a job to go back to. I’m lucky to have had 3 months off with my child and dog. But man, it’s like you go through all these changes and get in this new routine then, PSYCH, you have to give that all up to make $. I am trying to look at the positives but man, it’s hard.
I have been trying to get in some last minute fun things before heading back to the 7:30-4:30 grind. Last weekend after a glorious run, I stopped in at one of my fave donut joints Glamdoll and got 4 donuts and a large latte. I shared 1.5 of those donuts with Sam and ate the rest.
I have been trying to get in some good workouts because I know it’s going to be tough once I’m back at work. I’ve been hiking, baking (hello instant pot spaghetti), and snuggling my dog and baby. I’m just trying to take everything in and enjoy every moment especially with Christmas coming up. Tis the season to be thankful.
My little monkeys are both currently sleeping, the Christmas tree is lit up, and I’m eating vanilla ice cream with reeses. I’d say there’s a lot to be thankful for.
Hoping you’re having a healthy and joyous holiday season and get some time off with loved ones.